A love letter to my husband from my nervous system
In the spirit of Valentine's Day and the idea of love, I thought I would share with you my journey with my nervous system over the last month and how Gerald has played a huge part in helping me find my center when I simply couldn't.
Every space holder I talk to, every thought leader I follow, the conversation continues to be around regulating our nervous system and the importance of it. I was literally watching Lee Harris speak the other day, and even he said he lost his center for about 5 days in January, and it took him that much to find his balance again.
Our dysregulation is real.
It's not just the doom scrolling and the overstimulation with all the dopamine hits and our shitty digital wellness; it's the volume of information we have access to, and the fire hose never stops plus the fact we are addicted to consuming via our devices - even if your not watching the news, you may simply be addicted to seeing your friends posts on Social Media, or watching as many dog videos as possible and don't think that screen time is not having an affect on your physiology.
There has always been shadow and light, there have always been wars, and dictators, There has always been conquerers and famine, but we are living in a time where this information is being amplified and there is no off switch, add the echo chambers of voices like chorusters and yet there is no one cheering on the good things that are happening on this planet, no one is feeding that energy to us.
So, if we aren't holding healthy boundaries or understand our own being, we are literally feeling like a pile of shit, an oil spill, or a dark cloud has been dumped on our nervous system and especially for those of us who are holding space for large communities, for those of you who are sensitive and still figuring out your own energetic boundaries - you may be feeling unrooted, untethered, abosolutely discomboblated and zero concept of where your centre is.
January got me for a hot minute...
For many reasons, I felt done in. I would be able to regulate my nervous system, and all it took was an email in a certain tone, or hearing my husband listening to the news or a podcast, or even an image from a post to send me off. There was a stretch in January where it took me a good 4-5 days before I could step out of disregulation and find my centre.
You can imagine the narrative that was playing through my brain when I am literally teaching breathwork students about nervous system regulation and working with our breathing in a functional way to access our parasympathetic nervous system! Oh, how the teacher becomes the student yet again!
And this is Life... ever circling and moving, a new layer to be seen.
How did I get through it?
There were tears. There was a good amount of gentle TV to shut my brain off at times, there was a lot of listening to healing frequencies. In between clients and teaching sessions, I lay on my back in my healing space. Lying on my back would activate my Vagus Nerve and as the driver of the parasympathetic nervous system, calm my body. But sometimes even that wasn't enough.
The Best Medicine that had the biggest effect was at night, on the couch, watching a movie, and lying against my husband. The Man I have been walking beside for 15 years and married to for almost 10. Leaning against him, my nervous system found safety, my nervous system co-regulated with his.
My being felt safe and protected and truly at home.
How did I get so lucky to find a human who could regulate me so quickly in the moments I can't? He loves me unconditionally. And this is why I get homesick when I travel for work, because he truly is my home and true north.
I realize this is a super nerdy love letter, but sometimes you are disregulated, and your emotions are having their own party, and you start to feel an anxiety that you know does not belong to you, and this lasts for days - when you have a partner who can support you in finding your centre again, there is nothing more precious than that.
Times Like These | Xavier Rudd
These are wild times.
There is also beauty in this time if we can see it. Beauty in unity, people coming together in the name of Harmony, Unity, and Peace. It does exist.
But there is no way we can fully bring this quality of unity into the Human collective if we cannot find it within ourselves. It always starts with us; the shifts and the changes always begin within before we can ever expect or see lasting shifts in our external world.
So if you are a sensitive little peanut like me, and sometimes the world feels all a bit too much, I am sharing this recording as a little Valentine's Gift.
This is one thing I know.
The one thing that turns the world from a heavily deregulated state is love.
Love for our neighbours.
Love for eachother.
Love for ourselves and this life.
Walk Softly.
Walk Gently.
We are all in it.
I love you.
x Rebecca
